Monday, January 19, 2015

Lost Biking Privledges

Just so the world can know how buff my legs are now, I snapped my bike chain in half while biking up a stupidly steep hill last week. I haven't known anyone to loose driving privileges AND biking privileges. Pray that my legs don't break next. Luckily we have our car back! After being on bike for over a week I discovered muscles I didn't know existed. Most nights I slept like a baby. Although babies don't really sleep very well so I would say I slept more like I was in a coma. It was great!

I handed the keys over to Sister Petersen and since then she goes around excitedly telling the other missionaries that she "holds the keys."

The other day I was reading a talk from this last general conference called "The Lord Has a Plan for Us!" by Elder Godoy. A line from that talk stood out to me, paraphrasing, it asked, "If I were to continue on the path that I am on now would the promised blessings in my patriarchal blessing be fulfilled?" I immediately remembered a line in my patriarchal blessing that promises music in my home. I longed to have that blessing fulfilled but I felt like the path to that blessing was unreachable and too hard. This week I was worrying a lot about where to study and what to study when I get home. The thought of it scares me so much. I was putting way too much time thinking about and it was taking away from me being able to be a full-time missionary. So I decided to go to my room and say a good, solid, and sincere prayer to God about it. I let Him know I understand that now is not the time nor place to be needing an answer about something unrelated to missionary work. So I'm my prayer I asked God to answer it in his own time but to please answer it. It was great then because I was able to get it off of my chest and focus on the work so much better. I had a few really great days with Sister Petersen working hard and seeing miracles. I had a pile of papers on my desk that I have accumulated from different conferences and meetings and I wanted to go through them to dejunk and study them one last time. I found the talk "Cast Not Away Therefore Thy Confidence" by Elder Holland in the midst of the pile. I felt too guilty to throw it away so I determined to read it the next morning. While reading it in my personal study I got an answer to my prayer. I had a complete assurance that I was supposed to continue my studies at BYU-I and that I was supposed to continue studying music. I had a good long cry about it because it was the answer I was hoping not to get. I am completely terrified out of my mind thinking about the long semesters ahead of me. The last semester I did exhausted every ounce of me emotionally, mentally, and physically. Throughout my whole mission I have been convincing myself that I am not going to go back to music in Idaho. It felt beyond my capacity to repeat. But the talk gave me a lot of comfort and I am so grateful that I have a direction and an answer way sooner than I expected. I now know immediately what I need to do when I get home. I am so grateful to learn that when I put the Lord first, he helps us with all aspects of our lives. I'm grateful to know that He answers prayers. He yet again has answered my prayer and I am also grateful to know that the blessings I desire are mine as I put God's will before my own. I am scared, but I know that he will be there to help me.
I AM HITTING MY 18 MONTH MARK THIS WEEK. What the heck! Today is my last full p-day :(


Gotta go.

Love, Sister Carter

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