|Me and my Uncle Jonathan, just before my Mission|
it has been way too long since you have had the pleasure to recieve communication from me, also known as the good word of Jon. I admit I am the worlds most amazing infrequent letter writer, it's actually pretty incredible, I know, you are probably already incredibly impressed by my abilities, nevertheless I must type on. I shall give you an account of my current state of being me, but due to the immense amount of amazingness I have to share with the world about me I shall have to limit myself to the highlights and most profound details. First, I recently becamed the most smartest man that has ever lived in my house. Second of all, I ate 17 perogies a few days ago, which pleased me greatly. Last Wednesday I ate a banana that had two bananas inside a single peel, a new personal record. Also, I am considering running for president of my house, for which I would kindly ask for your vote over my opposition, the infamously crazy Dana Adams. My platform consists of incredibly meaningful wedgies, dancing like fairies in the kitchen while Dana is cooking, and recording peoples snoring at night for research purposes and telling friends about it and laughing. Plus, I will give all voters $1,000,000 in bank notes from a board game of my choice upon successful inauguration.
Well, I know that's a lot to take in, I hesitate to even mention such wondrous achievements but I have come to the conclusion that I have a duty to encourage others to aspire to greatness.
Anyways, how do you feel coming to the end of your mission? Don't let me make you trunky, but When you get home in a couple months we're gonna party it up and do like every fun thing ever in the whole wide island of Vancouver.
We had a real treat yesterday and today, we had Elder Bednar come to our stake conference, so we are pretty much apostles now so if you need us to come like tour your mission it's totally cool. Seriously though, it was the most incredible mind blowing, brain exploding, heart forming, spiritually conforming, and totally not boring, sessions with one of the 15. Wow, I think I'm still looking for the missing pieces of my medulla oblongata that got plastered against the wall when he started speaking. I wish I could upload it all to your brain but I thought that you probably need your brain intact right now so maybe another time. One thing that was super neat to hear was that he said that the way the growth of the church is going means that the church as we know it, in terms of how the programs run and things work, have to and will change as time goes on. The doctrines and teachings of the church will always remain the same, but the church will change. The work of the Lord is hastening, He is the one whoo hastens it, not us, we simply are to do what we can to keep up. I love it! He also talked a lot about how important covenants are and about the atonement; it was all so incredible.
Anyways, keep doing your best, and know that despite not seeing fruit fall from the tree, as long as you shake it, you are doing your part to make the fruit fall, even if it's not on your side of the tree or from your branch.
Your most amazing genius uncle ever in the whole universe galaxy, Jon Adams
P.S. I know you're busy so I wont be offended if you cant write back :)
The Next letter in my inbox was from his wife.....
I am pleased that you have the opportunity to read from your Supreme Highness. I have purposely not written to keep you in suspense and so you can more fully appreciate my most excellent awesomeness.
I know you would do anything for your Greatest of all Aunts, waiting on my every word and would spend all your P-day reading about how glorious I am. BUT I am feeling generous and will not take all your time.
I have a matter of great importance that I need to address with you. You may have received an email from your deranged Uncle. He believes he is the better candidate for President of the House. If he becomes president our house will never be the same. We would all be forced to speak in mathematical equations while being chased from his ultimate wedgie giving power.
I ask for your support and vote, I know you'll see it in your heart that I'm the better candidate as my platform consists of rainbows and unicorns, pretending to be great painters and rocking out to songs we can't remember the lyrics for.
I know you'll see reason and not be bribed by the game money he offered. All my voters will get a ride on the unicorn while it jumps over the rainbow.
Well, other than being spiritually slam dunked by a special witness of The Lord today and yesterday, that's all for now.
I shook Elder Bednar's hand! I spoke with him, I never want to forget this feeling of floating in spiritual warm goodness of Christ. I can testify that he is an apostle!
I can't wait to see you, but don't think of us. Keep working hard, Satan will be working just as hard to distract you.
Love you my sweet and wonderful, vote for me, niece.
Bye for now!